Morris, standing naked and wrapped in a sheepskin: “I’m Animan!”
Me: “Animan?”
Morris nods. “Who’s Animan?”
Me: “I don’t know, but he sounds like he’s half man, half animal. Are you Animan?”
Morris laughs. “No! I’m just a normal poop.”
Morris: “Milo, these are zombies?”
Milo: “Yes. And in zombie, ‘brain’ means ‘hi.'”
Morris: “‘Brain’ means ‘hi?'”
Milo: “Yes. And ‘brain brain’ means ‘hug.’ And ‘brain brain brain’ means ‘let’s eat ice cream.'”
Morris: “Yeah! Ice cream!”
Morris: “Do you know the Muffin Man?”
Rob: “The Muffin Man? Sure, I know him. Do you know the Muffin Man?”
Morris: “Yeah. His name is Butt Pants.”
Chantal Kreviazuk is singing a song on the television…
Me: “This is a nice song, isn’t it?”
Morris: “No.”
Me: “No? Why don’t you like it?”
Morris: “She’s singing it wrong.”
Me: “Oh? How would you sing it?”
Morris: “I would sing it right.”
Morris: “Mommy?”
Me: “Yes?”
Morris: “Where’s my Mommy?”
Me: “Uhhh, I’m up here in the front seat driving the car you’re riding in.”
Morris: “Where’s my Daddy?”
Me: “He’s at the library, working.”
Morris: “Where’s my Milo?”
Me: “He’s sitting in the passenger seat beside you.”
Milo: “YEAH! With my elf shoes that are really ninja choppers. Shing! Shing! Shing!”
Morris: “Mommy, what do bums eat?”
Me: “Ummm… I’m not sure. What do you think bums eat?”
Morris: “They eat bums.”
Me: “Of course they do.”
Morris: “I have a rhinoceros in my ear.”
Me: “Really? That must be the smallest rhinoceros in the world.”
Morris: “No! It’s big!”
Milo: “Maybe he chopped its horns off first. Yeah! Ninja baby with swords! Shing! Shing! Shing! I’d love that. That would be AWESOME.”
Morris, for the 50th time this morning: “What we watching tonight, Mommy?”
Me: “The end of the Incredibles.”
Morris: “The Incedibles?”
Me: “That’s right. The Incredibles.”
Morris: “The InCEDibles?”
Milo: “YES, Morris! The Incredibles.”
Me: “Aren’t you happy to be watching the Incredibles tonight?”
Milo: “Yes.”
Morris: “No.”
Me: “What do you want to watch, Morris?”
Morris: “In-POOP-ibles! HA HA HA HA HA!”
Morris: “I hear ambulance! Maybe somebody hurt!”
Milo, showing his clenched fist: “Maybe someone has a hole in them THIS big.”
Me: “How would they get a hole that big in them?”
Milo: “Maybe there was a monster with huge claws and it just went ‘HAAAA!” (stabs imaginary victim) “… and the person went ‘Aaaaagh, I need an ambulance.'”
Me: “Well, that does seem like the likeliest option.”
Morris: “If I take my belly apart, monsters come out my belly. Yeah!”
