Three things I never thought I’d hear Milo say while playing video games
1. “Now I just need to find someone to love.”
2. “Ooooh! My brain just got bigger!”
3. “Awww… I just had babies! Look at how cute they are!”
Posts Tagged: Milo – 6 years old
With great power, comes great responsibility
Milo: “Mom, I could kill you. But I never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever will.”
Me: “Right back atcha, bud.”
Proof that soap opera writers get their ideas from three-year-olds
Morris: “Natalie is going to marry Daniel and I’m not invited to the wedding.”
Me: “Well, I think it’s going to be a long, long, long time before that marriage actually takes place, so you never know what will happen. You might still get an invite yet.”
Morris: “And when she and Daniel break up, then I’ll marry her!”
Me: “I thought you wanted to marry me.”
Morris: “I changed my mind. I’m going to marry… MILO!”
Milo: “Not going to happen, dude.”
I shudder to think of the dental bills
Milo: “Hey Mom, imagine if I had a million teeth and they all fell out at once and there were so many of them they filled the entire house, and the Tooth Fairy came and was like, ‘What the HECK?’ and she gave me a toy for every tooth and so I had every Lego set that was ever made and so much money I was a billionaire. Wouldn’t that be AWESOME?”
The question every parent dreads
Morris: “Mommy, I wonder where I came from.”
Me: “You came from my belly.”
Morris: “But how did I get in your belly?”
Me: “Um…”
He stares at me expectantly.
Me: “Um…
He continues to stare at me expectantly.
Me: Well, you were borne out of the love Daddy and I have for each other.”
Morris: “HUH?”
Me: “Your daddy and I loved each other and then, BAM! There you were.”
Morris: “How did I come out of your belly?”
Milo pulls up his shirt, examines his belly button. “Did his head just pop out and start looking around and you saw it and went, ‘Aaaaagh! There’s a head coming out of my belly!?'”
Me: “Something like that.”
Milo: “That would be so weird.”
"Weird" doesn't even begin to cover it. pal.
The hills are alive with the sound of death machines
Milo comes downstairs carrying his trumpet. “Yay!” I think. “That’s my boy, exploring his natural inclination for music.”
He examines the trumpet carefully for a few seconds, fingering the buttons, then aims it at me. “Set for extreme flame-throwing. Chik! Chik! PSSHHHHHHHHH!!!!”
… Apparently it also has a bazooka setting.
Little pitchers have big mouths
Milo: “X is the baddest kid in my class because he says the A-word twice a day.”
Morris: “What’s the A-word?”
Me: “Really? Why does he do that?”
Milo: “I don’t know. But he says he learned it from his Nana.”
Morris: “What’s the A-word???”
Me: “Well, sweetie, I have a secret to tell you…”
Morris: “WHAT’S THE A-WORD????”
Me: “Sometimes grownups like to say words that are considered naughty. It doesn’t make them bad people, though. It just means they have a lazy vocabulary.”
Morris: “A-WORD!!! A-WORD!!! A-WORD!!! I’M SAYING THE A-WORD!!!”
Not to mention they’re so adorably fuzzy-wuzzy cute
Milo holds up a stuffed monkey and a stuffed panda. “These are the Lava Leaders.”
Me: “Really.”
Milo: “Uh huh. They can fly and they’re super strong. Phew! Phew! No — wait — they’re the Lava LORDS. That means they’re invincible. Plus, they’re made of lava. And if you’re a bad guy who escapes from jail, they’ll throw you into the ocean and the squids and octopuses and sharks will eat you up.”
Me: “Well, okay then.”
Plus they’re high in Vitamin A and Vitamin C and are a good source of dietary fibre
Milo’s running around, brandishing a long sweet potato…
“You might think you’re going to win because you have a light saber, but *I* have a potato and it’s the most powerful weapon ever because it explodes into French fries and then THEY explode into a-TOM bombs. Boom!!!”
Bieber’s got nothing on this guy
Milo, singing at the top of his lungs: “I don’t know why I’m singing right now, no, I don’t know, no, I don’t know. I don’t know why I’m singing right now, no, I don’t know. Perhaps I’ll stop. I don’t know, I don’t know, la, la, laaaaaa. See my foot and let it stink! See my foot and let it stink! Yeah, yeah! See my foot and let it stink!”
He sees me watching. “What?”
