Milo: “Mommy, when am I going to die?”
Me: “Hopefully not for a long, long, long, long time.”
Milo: “And then I’ll go to heaven.”
Me: “Yep, and I’ll be there waiting for you and I’ll say, ‘Hey Milo! Great to see you again buddy!”
Milo: “And I’ll ask for milk. Yeah. Definitely milk.”
Me: “… milk?”
Milo: “Yeah, ’cause heaven’s far away and I’ll be really thirsty.”
Morris: “Mommy?”
Me: “Yes?”
Morris: “Where’s my Mommy?”
Me: “Uhhh, I’m up here in the front seat driving the car you’re riding in.”
Morris: “Where’s my Daddy?”
Me: “He’s at the library, working.”
Morris: “Where’s my Milo?”
Me: “He’s sitting in the passenger seat beside you.”
Milo: “YEAH! With my elf shoes that are really ninja choppers. Shing! Shing! Shing!”
Morris: “I have a rhinoceros in my ear.”
Me: “Really? That must be the smallest rhinoceros in the world.”
Morris: “No! It’s big!”
Milo: “Maybe he chopped its horns off first. Yeah! Ninja baby with swords! Shing! Shing! Shing! I’d love that. That would be AWESOME.”
Milo: “Mom, if you were a piece of toast, you know what I’d do?”
Me: “Uhhh… nope.”
Milo: “I would dip you in love sauce.”
Milo: “Mom, these are my three danger cars: Dragon Flash, Bumble Stinger, and Hyper Flash. Dragon Flash is the evil one. VROOOOOM!!!”
Morris: “I hear ambulance! Maybe somebody hurt!”
Milo, showing his clenched fist: “Maybe someone has a hole in them THIS big.”
Me: “How would they get a hole that big in them?”
Milo: “Maybe there was a monster with huge claws and it just went ‘HAAAA!” (stabs imaginary victim) “… and the person went ‘Aaaaagh, I need an ambulance.'”
Me: “Well, that does seem like the likeliest option.”
Overheard from downstairs…
Milo: “You’re not the boss of me.”
Morris: “Yes, I am.”
Milo: “No, you’re not! I’m your older brother. I’m the boss of you!”
Morris: “NO YOU’RE NOT! I’M BOSS OF YOU!”
Milo: “No! That’s not the way it works!”
Morris: “YES, IT IS! I’M BOSS OF YOU!”
Milo: “No, you’re NOT!”
Morris: “You want a piece of me?”
Milo: “Sure. You want a piece of me?”
Morris: “Yeah!”
… Giggles ensue.
Me, attempting to explain evolution in simple terms: “Over long periods of time, plants and animals change in relation to the changing world around them.”
Milo: “You mean I’m going to turn into a dinosaur? Cool!”
Me: “No, dinosaurs died out millions of years ago. But the tiny mice-like creatures that lived back then eventually evolved to become us.”
Milo: “You mean I used to be a mouse? Cool!”
Me: “Well, actually, those tiny mice became all sorts of different creatures, one of which was a creature like a monkey, and that monkey eventually evolved to become us.”
Milo: “You mean I’m half-mouse, half-monkey? THAT’S SO AWESOME!”
Overheard from downstairs:
Milo, speaking as a robot: “I – LOVE – YOU – MORRIS.”
Morris: “I – LOVE – YOU – TOO – MILO. ROBOT! ROBOT! ROBOT!”
Milo: “Daddy, what does ‘N-H-L’ spell?”
