Fire? The Wheel? Language? Big Freakin’ Deal
Milo: “I am Cave Milo. I discovered the bum.”
Posts Tagged: Milo – 5 years old
Some things are better left unexplained
Overheard from downstairs…
Milo: “Punch the poo! Punch it! Punch it!”
Funny, I don’t remember reading that in the rule book
Milo, playing with some matching memory cards… “Mom, what’s five plus six?”
Me: “Eleven.”
Milo: “That means I can only use the swimming butterfly card 11 times.”
Me: “Oh? Why?”
Milo: “Because it has triple fire power and is really dangerous so you can only use it in times of emergencies. Blam! Pow!”
Weird = Awesome
Milo is watching a cartoon called “Almost Naked Animals.”
Me: “Milo, I gotta tell you, this show is pretty weird.”
Milo laughs. “I know! I really like it too.”
We told them to choose French as their second language but nooooo
Morris: “Milo, these are zombies?”
Milo: “Yes. And in zombie, ‘brain’ means ‘hi.'”
Morris: “‘Brain’ means ‘hi?'”
Milo: “Yes. And ‘brain brain’ means ‘hug.’ And ‘brain brain brain’ means ‘let’s eat ice cream.'”
Morris: “Yeah! Ice cream!”
As long as you don’t start digging up bodies in the graveyard, we’re good
Milo: “When I grow up I’m gonna invent an awakenator. It’s a machine that keeps people awake all night long and they’re not even sleepy the next day.”
Me: “Dude, invent that and you’ll make a billion dollars. So long as it doesn’t have any unforeseen negative side effects.”
Milo: “All right! But first I need to become a mad scientist. It’s my JOB.”
Me: “Okay, then.”
Milo: “And I’m going to need some of the stuff around this house. Like the fridge… and the oven… and the toaster.”
Channeling John Rainbird
Milo: “Mom, if someone ever kills you make sure you keep your eyes open because that will look really creepy and I’ll say, ‘Aaaagh! That’s really creepy!'”
Showing possible signs of public school indoctrination
Milo, turning in circles in the kitchen, sings: “I can do whatever I want because I’m free in Canada. I’m free in Canada and can do whatever I want. I can do whatever I want because I’m free in Canada.”
Clearly Daddy and I need to start using more code words
Milo: “Mommy, guess what you are?”
Me: “Um, your mother?”
Milo: “No.”
Me: “A stellar role model?”
Milo: “No.”
Me: “A scintillating conversationalist?”
Milo: “No.”
Me: “An international super spy?”
Milo: “No. Give up?”
Me: “Yep.”
Milo: “You’re SEXY!”
Me: “Oh, really?”
Milo: “YEAH! … What does sexy mean?”
Not sure if this was a misheard word or a really quick recovery
I’m drying Milo off after his bath…
Milo: “Ow! Careful with my nut crack!”
Me: “… Milo, did you just say ‘nut crack?'”
Milo: “Yeah.”
Me: “……”
Milo: “What? That’s where I crack nuts! I just stick them between my legs and go ‘Grrr!’ and they crack.”
Me: “……”
Milo: “Seriously, Mom. That’s what happens.”
