At least he asked first
Morris: “Mommy, do you think it would be mean if I punched you in the face?”
Me: “Yep, I think that would be mean.”
Morris: “Okay. I’ll go back to eating then.”
I believe this is what they refer to as “upcycling”
Morris: “Mommy! I sworded you into pieces!”
Me: “Ouch! Now what are you going to do with all these pieces of Mommy lying around?”
Morris: “I’m going to take them and build a spaceship. Build build build build build build build build build. Look! Now I have a spaceship I can fly into outer space!”
He’s nothing if not truthful
Milo, using a walkie talkie: “Okay, I’m ready. But you won’t be able to find me – I’ve got a really hard hiding place. Over.”
Me: “Give me a hint. Over.”
Milo: “It’s near a tree. Over.”
Me: “Did you say it was near a tree? Over.”
Milo: “Yes. Over.”
Me: “We’re in the forest. EVERYWHERE is near a tree. Over.”
Milo: “I know. That’s why it’s a really hard hiding place. Over.”
Will be ratting us out to Family Services in 5… 4… 3…
Milo: “What does ‘poor’ mean?”
Me: “It means not having enough money to meet your basic needs.”
Milo: “Then I’m poor! I don’t have enough money to beat my basic needs.”
Me: “Daddy and I take of your basic needs.”
Milo: “I have one basic need that you’re not beating.”
Me: “Oh yeah? What’s that?”
Milo: “I need a car.”
Touché mon ami, touché
Milo: “Mommy, don’t spend too much time on that computer — or your brain will rot!”
Maybe he meant it as a compliment?
Morris: “Daddy, what are you doing?”
Rob: “I’m not doing anything. Just cleaning the house up.”
Morris: “You ARE doing something! You’re dumb-dumbing! You’re dumbing the house up!”
Poor kid never had a chance
Dad: “Morris, what does Admiral Akbar say?”
Morris: “IT’S A TRAP!!!”
An astute observation
Milo: “Mom, is salt made up of tasty little rocks?”
At least it was over quickly
Morris: “Once upon a time there was a guy named Bob and a guy named Sharon and they lived in a hollow rock and they got eaten by a shark. Ha! Ha! Ha!”
Always with the happy endings
Milo: “Once upon a time there was a guy named Bob and a guy named Sharon and they lived in a cloud because they were pieces of rain and they fell down and their faces went splat on the ground. Ha! Ha! Ha!”
