Chantal Kreviazuk is singing a song on the television…
Me: “This is a nice song, isn’t it?”
Morris: “No.”
Me: “No? Why don’t you like it?”
Morris: “She’s singing it wrong.”
Me: “Oh? How would you sing it?”
Morris: “I would sing it right.”
Milo: “Mommy, when am I going to die?”
Me: “Hopefully not for a long, long, long, long time.”
Milo: “And then I’ll go to heaven.”
Me: “Yep, and I’ll be there waiting for you and I’ll say, ‘Hey Milo! Great to see you again buddy!”
Milo: “And I’ll ask for milk. Yeah. Definitely milk.”
Me: “… milk?”
Milo: “Yeah, ’cause heaven’s far away and I’ll be really thirsty.”
Me, attempting to explain evolution in simple terms: “Over long periods of time, plants and animals change in relation to the changing world around them.”
Milo: “You mean I’m going to turn into a dinosaur? Cool!”
Me: “No, dinosaurs died out millions of years ago. But the tiny mice-like creatures that lived back then eventually evolved to become us.”
Milo: “You mean I used to be a mouse? Cool!”
Me: “Well, actually, those tiny mice became all sorts of different creatures, one of which was a creature like a monkey, and that monkey eventually evolved to become us.”
Milo: “You mean I’m half-mouse, half-monkey? THAT’S SO AWESOME!”
Milo: “Daddy, what does ‘N-H-L’ spell?”
Milo: “Where’s heaven?”
Me: “That’s a good question. No one knows for sure… maybe it’s in our hearts, or maybe it’s all around us right now and we’re just not able to see it.”
Rob: “Yeah… that’s a question no one can answer for sure. Heaven is just a place we imagine where people are always really happy.”
Milo: “So is there a guy there who smashes heads?”
Milo: “I like nature. Nature’s cute.”
Milo, to Morris: “You are an eyeball chicken in a tutu.”
