Celebrating the Savage, Hilarious, Disgusting and Adorable World of Little Boys

Small Brains Contemplating Life’s Big Questions

Stan Lee would be so proud

Morris: “Does Wolverine have claws?”

Me: “Yes, he does! Big claws.”

Morris: “Does he scratch with them?”

Me: “Yep. That’s what he does.”

Morris: “Does he scratch his elbow?”

Me: “Um, sometimes, probably.”

Morris: “Does he scratch his back?”

Me: “If it’s itchy, I guess.”

Morris: “Does he sing?”

Me: “Wolverine, sing? Maybe.”

Morris: “What does he sing?”

Me: “I don’t know. What do you think Wolverine sings?”

Morris: “Spider Man! Spins a web any size, catches thieves just like flies, yeah!”

The geek gene was hardwired into his DNA

Milo sees a guy on TV wearing nothing but a chainmail vest. “That can’t be very warm.”

Me: “No, but if someone hits him it’s really going to hurt their hands because they’d be hitting metal. And it won’t hurt him so much because the metal will absorb the blow.”

Milo: “Yeah. That’s why it doesn’t hurt Superman when people hit him—because he’s the Man of Steel.”

As long as you don’t start digging up bodies in the graveyard, we’re good

Milo: “When I grow up I’m gonna invent an awakenator. It’s a machine that keeps people awake all night long and they’re not even sleepy the next day.”

Me: “Dude, invent that and you’ll make a billion dollars. So long as it doesn’t have any unforeseen negative side effects.”

Milo: “All right! But first I need to become a mad scientist. It’s my JOB.”

Me: “Okay, then.”

Milo: “And I’m going to need some of the stuff around this house. Like the fridge… and the oven… and the toaster.”

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