Touché mon ami, touché
Milo: “Mommy, don’t spend too much time on that computer — or your brain will rot!”
Milo: “Mommy, don’t spend too much time on that computer — or your brain will rot!”
Milo: “Mom, is salt made up of tasty little rocks?”
Milo: “Mom, do you think that people are made on the gods’ Wiis?”
Morris: “Does Wolverine have claws?”
Me: “Yes, he does! Big claws.”
Morris: “Does he scratch with them?”
Me: “Yep. That’s what he does.”
Morris: “Does he scratch his elbow?”
Me: “Um, sometimes, probably.”
Morris: “Does he scratch his back?”
Me: “If it’s itchy, I guess.”
Morris: “Does he sing?”
Me: “Wolverine, sing? Maybe.”
Morris: “What does he sing?”
Me: “I don’t know. What do you think Wolverine sings?”
Morris: “Spider Man! Spins a web any size, catches thieves just like flies, yeah!”
Milo: “Mom, wouldn’t it be mean if a babysitter actually sat on a baby? That would be so weird! And if the baby was only one month old… whoa!”
Morris: “Mommy, where does Saint Sponge Bob live?”
Milo sees a guy on TV wearing nothing but a chainmail vest. “That can’t be very warm.”
Me: “No, but if someone hits him it’s really going to hurt their hands because they’d be hitting metal. And it won’t hurt him so much because the metal will absorb the blow.”
Milo: “Yeah. That’s why it doesn’t hurt Superman when people hit him—because he’s the Man of Steel.”
Morris: “Milo, these are zombies?”
Milo: “Yes. And in zombie, ‘brain’ means ‘hi.'”
Morris: “‘Brain’ means ‘hi?'”
Milo: “Yes. And ‘brain brain’ means ‘hug.’ And ‘brain brain brain’ means ‘let’s eat ice cream.'”
Morris: “Yeah! Ice cream!”
Milo: “When I grow up I’m gonna invent an awakenator. It’s a machine that keeps people awake all night long and they’re not even sleepy the next day.”
Me: “Dude, invent that and you’ll make a billion dollars. So long as it doesn’t have any unforeseen negative side effects.”
Milo: “All right! But first I need to become a mad scientist. It’s my JOB.”
Me: “Okay, then.”
Milo: “And I’m going to need some of the stuff around this house. Like the fridge… and the oven… and the toaster.”
Milo, turning in circles in the kitchen, sings: “I can do whatever I want because I’m free in Canada. I’m free in Canada and can do whatever I want. I can do whatever I want because I’m free in Canada.”