I was hoping for a more scientific explanation
Rob comes in to the living room to give the boy plates of pancakes for breakfast.
Milo: “Wooooo! The gods have blessed me with a snack!”
Small Brains Contemplating Life’s Big Questions
He’s so thoughtful
Milo: “Mom, if you said you were going to cut your arm off to show how much you loved me, I wouldn’t let you because I wouldn’t want you to hurt yourself.”
I shudder to think of the dental bills
Milo: “Hey Mom, imagine if I had a million teeth and they all fell out at once and there were so many of them they filled the entire house, and the Tooth Fairy came and was like, ‘What the HECK?’ and she gave me a toy for every tooth and so I had every Lego set that was ever made and so much money I was a billionaire. Wouldn’t that be AWESOME?”
The question every parent dreads
Morris: “Mommy, I wonder where I came from.”
Me: “You came from my belly.”
Morris: “But how did I get in your belly?”
Me: “Um…”
He stares at me expectantly.
Me: “Um…
He continues to stare at me expectantly.
Me: Well, you were borne out of the love Daddy and I have for each other.”
Morris: “HUH?”
Me: “Your daddy and I loved each other and then, BAM! There you were.”
Morris: “How did I come out of your belly?”
Milo pulls up his shirt, examines his belly button. “Did his head just pop out and start looking around and you saw it and went, ‘Aaaaagh! There’s a head coming out of my belly!?'”
Me: “Something like that.”
Milo: “That would be so weird.”
"Weird" doesn't even begin to cover it. pal.
Anything to get out of eating his asparagus
Milo: “Mommy, I have three stomachs.”
Me: “Wow. Really?”
Milo: “Uh huh. The one that only eats healthy food is totally full. The one that only eats milk is almost totally full. But the one that eats dessert is still hungry.”
I just got schooled on effective communication by a three-year-old
Morris: “Here, Mommy, try some of my pie.”
Me: “Mmmm… it is pretty yummy.”
Morris: “Why you’d say pretty?”
Me: “Because it’s yummy, and… well… um… you’re right. I didn’t need to include the ‘pretty.’ I should have just said yummy.”
Morris nods. “Then you can say, YUMMY YUMMY YUMMY!”
We’re hoping his innocence absolves him
Milo: “Morris, there’s one word you can’t EVER say.”
Watch your tongue, boy -- or I WILL SMITE IT OFF.
Morris: “What is it?”
Milo: “It’s the name of the king who lives in the clouds. BUT YOU CAN’T SAY IT.”
Morris: “What is it?”
Milo: “YOU know, he’s the king of all the angels and his name starts with a G. And then there’s an O… And a D.” [Pause.] “And it’s pronounced, guh… aw… d.”
Morris: “God! Goddy Goddy God God!”
Milo: “MORRIS NOOOOOOOO!”
Sounds like someone needs some sensitivity training
Milo: “Mom, what if there was a guy who was really small and always said, ‘Waaah! Waaah!'”
Me: “I’d probably think he was a baby.”
Milo: “Yeah, but what if THIS guy was 300 years old? WHAT WOULD YOU DO?”
Me: “I’d probably say, ‘Hey dude, I wish you could talk because there are so many questions I want to ask you! Like, what was it like when you were only 5 years old, and what do you think about the changes you’ve seen over the years, and how did you get to be 300 years old? Can I be 300 years old?”
Milo: “And he’d say, ‘Waaah! Waaah! Waaah! Waaah! Waaah! Waaah!”
Me: “And I’d say, ‘Learn English, dude!'”
Milo: “And *I’d* say, ‘Mom, this guy is weird. Can I punch him in the head?'”
Milo: Not sure Darwin would agree
Milo: “Mommy, I’m the evolved form of Morris.”
Either a wanna-be intellectual or zombie in training
Milo: “I love my brain, yeah! Cause brains are awesome, yeah! I love brains, yeah! Cause they are awesome, yeah!”
