He’s the Scat Man (in more ways than one)
Morris: “Oh what fun it is to poop in a one-butt open poop poop poopy poop poop butt!”
Poopy Dumb Butts
Alphabutt Boy
Morris: “Mommy, you sing the alphabet song.”
Me: “A B C D E F G, H I J K L M N O P. Q R S, T U V, W, X, Y and Z. Now I know my ABCs, next time won’t you sing with me?”
Morris: “Now my turn!”
Me: “Okay! Let’s here it.”
Morris: “A B C D E L M N O poo poo!”
Fire? The Wheel? Language? Big Freakin’ Deal
Milo: “I am Cave Milo. I discovered the bum.”
Some things are better left unexplained
Overheard from downstairs…
Milo: “Punch the poo! Punch it! Punch it!”
Carrot on a stick
Morris: “Mommy, what’s in that Kinder egg?”
Me: “I think that might be full of candy.”
Morris: “Candy?”
Me: “Yeah, I think Daddy bought it for when you go pee on the potty.”
Morris: “Mommy, can you get me naked? I want to go pee on the potty RIGHT NOW!”
Me: “Okay, sure.”
Morris, walking back downstairs: “Pee! Yeah! In my potty! Yay!”
A minute later, Milo: “Dad! You’d better get some candy!”
Don’t sell yourself short, buddy
Morris, standing naked and wrapped in a sheepskin: “I’m Animan!”
Me: “Animan?”
Morris nods. “Who’s Animan?”
Me: “I don’t know, but he sounds like he’s half man, half animal. Are you Animan?”
Morris laughs. “No! I’m just a normal poop.”
I’m guessing his parents didn’t love him very much
Morris: “Do you know the Muffin Man?”
Rob: “The Muffin Man? Sure, I know him. Do you know the Muffin Man?”
Morris: “Yeah. His name is Butt Pants.”
Stating the obvious
Morris: “Mommy, what do bums eat?”
Me: “Ummm… I’m not sure. What do you think bums eat?”
Morris: “They eat bums.”
Me: “Of course they do.”
Can’t please everyone all the time
Morris, for the 50th time this morning: “What we watching tonight, Mommy?”
Me: “The end of the Incredibles.”
Morris: “The Incedibles?”
Me: “That’s right. The Incredibles.”
Morris: “The InCEDibles?”
Milo: “YES, Morris! The Incredibles.”
Me: “Aren’t you happy to be watching the Incredibles tonight?”
Milo: “Yes.”
Morris: “No.”
Me: “What do you want to watch, Morris?”
Morris: “In-POOP-ibles! HA HA HA HA HA!”
Garbage in, garbage out
Morris, calling from his crib upon awakening from his nap: “I pooped the gum out! I pooped the gum out! MOOOOOMMY!!! I POOPED THE GUM OUT!!!”
