Nonsense and Non Sequiturs
Morris: “Mommy, guess what my name is.”
Me: “Um, it’s Morris?”
Morris: “Nope! See my poppy?” He thrusts out his chest. “It’s a hint.”
Me: “Your poppy is a hint to your name.”
Morris: “Yep.”
Me: “Okay… Is it Po?”
Morris: “No!”
Me: “Is it Red?”
Morris: “No!”
Me: “Is it Soldier?”
Morris: “Nooooo!”
Me: “Is it War Hero?”
Morris: “…. No.” (I’m pretty sure at this point he was wishing it WAS War Hero.)
Me: “Is it Flower Power?”
Morris: “NO!!!”
Me: “Okay, I give up. What’s your name?”
Morris: “It’s Poppy Man! Geez, I thought you would get that!”
Morris: “I know what ‘Yo Momma’ is upside down.”
Me: “???”
Morris: “Momma yo!”
1. “Now I just need to find someone to love.”
2. “Ooooh! My brain just got bigger!”
3. “Awww… I just had babies! Look at how cute they are!”
Milo, singing at the top of his lungs: “I don’t know why I’m singing right now, no, I don’t know, no, I don’t know. I don’t know why I’m singing right now, no, I don’t know. Perhaps I’ll stop. I don’t know, I don’t know, la, la, laaaaaa. See my foot and let it stink! See my foot and let it stink! Yeah, yeah! See my foot and let it stink!”
He sees me watching. “What?”
Morris: “What’s your real name?”
Me: “Ummm… Goober Schnauben.”
Morris: “No, what’s your real name?”
Me: “Goober Schnauben.”
Morris: “No, what’s your real name?”
Me: “Goober Schnauben.”
Morris: “No, what’s your real name?”
Me: “Goober Schnauben.”
Morris: “No, what’s your real name?”
Me: “Goober Schnauben.”
Morris: “No, what’s your REAL name?”
Me: “Erin Jean Helen Whalen.”
Morris: “No, say Goober Schnauby again!”
Morris: “ROAR!!!”
Me: “Meh.”
Milo: “ROOOOAR!!!”
Me: “Meh.”
Morris: “ROOOOOOOARRRR!!!”
Me: “Meh.”
Milo: “RRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOARRRR!!!”
Me: “Meh.”
Morris, whispering: “Mew.”
Me: “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!”
Both boys: HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!
Morris, eating lunch: “I LOVE IT! IT’S SO GOOD I CAN’T EVEN BLINK MY EYES.”
Morris: “Mommy, I have another house. It’s far, far away.”
Me: “It is?”
Morris: “Uh huh. It’s far, far away in Cedar Grove.”
Me: “What’s it like?”
Morris: “It’s got a blue roof. And it’s got a yellow roof. And it’s got a red roof, too.”
Me: “What’s it like inside?”
Morris: “Blackish.”
Milo: “Mom, I have the power to throw you into a different universe.”
Me: “Oh? And what universe are you going to throw me into?”
Milo: “Mars.”
Morris: “Mommy, you’re Cyborg.”
Me: “Yeah! I’m Cyborg! I’m super strong and I have laser vision!”
Morris: “No, you’re Robin.”
Me: “I’m Robin! I’m super fast and really smart!”
Morris: “Yeah! And I’m Robin’s brother.”
Me: “Oh yeah? What’s your name?”
Morris: “I’m June 58!”
