Morris’s new favourite joke (which he says about 50 times a day):
Morris: “Mommy, you’re dumb.”
Me: “Morris! I’ve told you, that’s not nice to say.”
Morris: “You’re a papadum! HA HA HA HA HA!”
Milo: “Morris was born on the Coast, so he’s a Coast kid.”
Me: “That’s right.”
Milo: “And I was born in Vancouver, so I’m half coast kid, half city kid.”
Me: “Yep. One day you’ll probably go to university and be a city kid. Then maybe you’ll go traveling and be an all-around-the-world kid. Then maybe you’ll probably get a job and be a coast kid or a city kid.”
Milo: “When I grow up, I want to get a job on the Coast.”
Me: So you can be with us?”
Milo nods.
Me: “That’s so sweet!”
Milo: “But I’ll need the car all the time.”
Milo: “Knock knock.”
Me: “Who’s there?”
Milo: “Eye.”
Me: “Eye who?”
Milo: “Eye’ll be back in the eye socket later. A-ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!”
———–
Milo: “Knock knock.”
Me: “Who’s there?”
Milo: “Seal.”
Me: “Seal who?”
Milo: “Seal later alligator! A-ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!”
—————–
Morris: “Knock knock.”
Me: “Who’s there?”
Morris: “Seal.”
Me: “Seal who?”
Morris: “Seal phlllllbbbbt!!!! A-ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!”
——————
Rob: “Knock knock.”
Me: “Who’s there?”
Rob: “Interrupting zombie.”
Me: “Interr–”
Rob: “BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAINS! A-ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!”
Morris: “Mommy?”
Me: “Yes, Morris?”
Morris: “Mommy?”
Me: “Yes, Morris?”
Morris: “Mommy?”
Me: “Yes, Morris?”
Morris: “Mommy?”
Me: “Yes, Morris?”
Morris: “Mommy?”
Me: “YES, Morris?”
Morris: “I so funny?”
Me: “Yes, Morris, you’re so funny.”
Morris: “BAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”
Morris: “Mommy, may I get down?”
Me: “Yes, you may.”
Morris: “I may?”
Me: “Yes, you may.”
Morris: “I may?”
Me: “Yes, you may.”
Morris: “I may?”
Me: “YES, you may.”
Morris: “I not may! I Morris.”
Me, reading “Go, Dog Go!”: “Look at those dogs go! Why are they going so fast in those cars? What are they going to do? Where are those dogs going?”
Morris: “To the ferry!”
Morris, coming into my bed this morning: “Hi, mommy!”
Me: “Hello, my little cuddle bun.”
Morris: “Noooooooooooooooo!”
Me: “What? What’s wrong?”
Morris: “I’m not bun! I’m hot dog!”
Morris: “Mommy, where we going?”
Me: “We’re going to the mall to get a few groceries.”
Morris: “Mommy, where we going?”
Me: “To the mall. We need to pick up some food.”
Morris: “Mommy, where we going?”
Me: “To the mall.”
Morris: “Mommy, where we going?”
Me: “THE MALL.”
Morris: “Mommy, where we going?”
Me: “To the moon, Morris. We’re going to the moon.”
Morris: “No we not. We going to the mall.”
Me: “You’re adorable.”
Morris: “No, I amn’t.”
Me: “Yes, you are.”
Morris: “No I amn’t! I’m a hamster.”
Milo: “Mom, can I please have some T-I-L-O?”
Me: “… Some’ tilo?'”
Milo: “Oh. I was trying to spell candy.”
