Me: “It’s time for your bath, dude.”
Milo: “Aww!”
Me: “We can snuggle together after your bath and watch a bit of Firebreather. How does that sound?”
Milo: “That’ll be sucking awesome!”
Me: “Uh, what does THAT mean?”
Milo: “It’s when you love something so much you’ll suck on it. Yeah! Sucking awesome!”
Milo, using a walkie talkie: “Okay, I’m ready. But you won’t be able to find me – I’ve got a really hard hiding place. Over.”
Me: “Give me a hint. Over.”
Milo: “It’s near a tree. Over.”
Me: “Did you say it was near a tree? Over.”
Milo: “Yes. Over.”
Me: “We’re in the forest. EVERYWHERE is near a tree. Over.”
Milo: “I know. That’s why it’s a really hard hiding place. Over.”
Milo: “What does ‘poor’ mean?”
Me: “It means not having enough money to meet your basic needs.”
Milo: “Then I’m poor! I don’t have enough money to beat my basic needs.”
Me: “Daddy and I take of your basic needs.”
Milo: “I have one basic need that you’re not beating.”
Me: “Oh yeah? What’s that?”
Milo: “I need a car.”
Dad: “Morris, what does Admiral Akbar say?”
Morris: “IT’S A TRAP!!!”
Morris, watching a commercial on TV: “Are those mommies?”
Me: “Yes! And do you know what mommies love most of all?”
Morris: “What?”
Me: “Their little boys!”
Morris: “And boys love their hoses.”
Milo: “Do you know what’s a bad name for a movie? ‘Scary Robot Movie.'”
Me: “I don’t know, I can see that doing well with a certain demographic. Morris, do you want to see ‘Scary Robot Movie?'”
Morris: “Yeah!”
Milo: “Nope. It’s bad.”
Me: “Why, because it’s too obvious?”
Milo: “Yeah.”
Me: “Do you even know what obvious means?”
Milo: “Nope… Does it mean ‘really lame?’ Cuz I know what THAT means.”
Morris: “I’m scared of my macaroni and cheese.”
Rob: “Why?”
Morris: “Because it’s going to eat my brain!”
Rob: “Oh no!”
Morris: “Don’t worry, Daddy. I just prefaking.”
Milo: “You look happy.”
Me: “I am! I just had a meeting with some great new clients and I’m so excited to be helping them with their website because they give local artists more exposure for their work, and that’s what I want to be doing, too.”
Milo: “I’m with you, Mom! Even though it’s totally boring and I don’t really know what you’re talking about, I’m with you.”
At the dinner table…
Morris spoons a pile of pico gallo (rice and black beans) into his mouth, makes a face, and spits it back on to his plate.
Milo: “No, Morris, no! They’re beans, Morris! Beans!” He turns to me. “He thinks they’re deer poop.”
Morris: “Mommy? You awake?”
Me: “Mmm hmm.”
Morris: “Knock knock.”
Me: “Who’s there?”
Morris: “Robin.”
Me: “Robin who?”
Morris: “Robin laid an egg, Batmobile lost a wheel and Joker played ballet. HA HA HA HA HA!”
