Morris, standing at the top of the stairs at 9:00 p.m.: “Mom! Dad! Moooooom!”
Rob: “Morris, what are you doing up?”
Morris: “I have to go pee.”
Rob: “Then go pee.”
Morris: “You can come up too if you want. You can come up. I SAID, you can come up if you want. I know it’s not playtime.”
Milo: “Mommy, you’re my really big action figure that I like to snuggle with.”
Milo (growling): And now I will torture Mommy’s lap… BY SITTING ON IT!
Me: “Morris, why are you hitting yourself? Why are you hitting yourself?”
Morris: “Ha! ha! ha! I’m not hitting me, you’re hitting me!”
Me: “Why are you hitting yourself? Why are you hitting yourself? Why are you hitting yourself?”
Morris: “HA! HA! HA! Mommy STOOOOOOOOOOP! … Do it again.”
Morris: “Daddy, what are you doing?”
Rob: “I’m not doing anything. Just cleaning the house up.”
Morris: “You ARE doing something! You’re dumb-dumbing! You’re dumbing the house up!”
Morris: “I’m strong.”
Me: “Yes, you are.”
Morris: “I can lift the house up.”
Me: “You can?”
Morris: “Yep… Mommy, can you help me?”
Me: “Help you what?”
Morris: “Lift the house up.”
Me: “I don’t know, sweetie. The house is pretty big.”
Morris: “And then it would fall and you would say, ow! It hurt! Then I would kiss you and you would feel all better. Okay?”
Morris: “I want to be a Power Ranger. Then you wouldn’t hug me because I would have a sword.”
Morris: “Mommy, I made a big tornado. I’m coming to warn you.”
Me: “Oh? What’s the tornado going to do?”
Morris: “It’s going to SUCK YOU UP.”
Me: “Then what is it going to do?”
Morris: “It’s going to bring you over to me!”
Me: “Oh, well that’s okay, then.”
Morris: “Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! No! Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop! STOOOOOOP!!!”
Morris, at around 10:00 a.m. on Mother’s Day: “Mommy, is it Boy Day now?”
