Celebrating the Savage, Hilarious, Disgusting and Adorable World of Little Boys

A call for stricter imaginary gun laws

Milo and Morris are at the breakfast table, building guns. Morris hands me an attached assortment of building blocks. “Here’s your gun, Mommy.”

I aim it at him and start shooting. “Pew! Pew! Pew!” Then I shoot Milo. “Pew! Pew! Pew”

Morris: “But Mom, we’re your sons!”

Me: “That’s why I’m shooting love bullets.”

Morris aims his gun at me. “I’m shooting BOMB bullets.”

Me: “But I’m your mom!”

Morris: “Duck!”

I duck. He shoots over my shoulder. “Boom!” Then he looks at the cupboard behind me. “Uh oh. I broke a glass.”

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